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DND Services Ltd :: Vanessa


Fast Car Street Bass Challenge
The Truth!

DND Services Ltd, Stevenage - 12th November 2003

What a load of rubbish Vanessa got Adam to spin us, in order to satisfy her own curiosity. If only she had told us the truth from the start, we would`ve been more than happy to assist in her quest. Instead of which, we ended up spending valuable time measuring bloomin SPL figures on our cars!

Truth is you see, Vanessa likes to spend her time shaking her thing to the sound of the Fuel music. We understand that fully, and believe me, she does it very well ! but she wants to be able to feel more than a bit sexy in the car. Yep, Ok, we can understand that one too. Problem is, that she has not found the perfect combination of the two, and I think that is where the Street Bass Challenge idea has originated from.

To explain, I shall take you through the days events:


Ben overheard Adam telling Vanessa to behave herself today. Ben had a gut feeling that something else may be going on.

Spike, the photographer couldn`t stop grinning, we think he knew!

Suspicions Confirmed !

Ben was right! We were a little puzzled at first, when Vanessa remarked that the Bass Vibrations from Mike`s car were turning her on, and asked if we could play that track again!

Explain Yourself Woman !

Adam immediately pulled Vanessa to one side and asked her to explain herself.

She very shyly answered:
" Well, the car looked and sounded good, and I thought that this might be the one, of course the only way to know for certain is to get inside it. "

This was all within earshot of Karl, who had an idea and thought Mike might be up for it!

Yes Said Mike !

Usually, Mike has to be asked several times to do something, but for some strange reason, responded to this request right away. He seemed very eager to get Vanessa in his car, especially as he had a Fuel Bass CD for her to Wriggle to.

Oh Dear !

Mike soon found out what rotten workmates he had, as someone had apparently(!) recorded over his favourite Fuel CD with a Porn film. I don`t think Vanessa was too impressed, and started playing with the gearstick instead.

She`s Gone !

Mike was so transfixed with the Porn film, that he didn`t even see Vanessa getting out of his car.

Shame on you Mike !


Adam needed to do some research on this, and asked Steph whether it was quite normal for Mike to play Porn films when he had a beautiful woman in the car?

Steph didn`t answer, she just grinned, and giggled quietly to herself !

I Don`t Care

I Don`t care what any of you think, said Mike, I love my Audio System to bits!

In fact, Could you please close the hatch for a few minutes as I`ve found some more Porn!!

Not a bad day at work, eh?

We wern`t sure whether Steph felt sorry for Mike, or that she too, was used to viewing the Porn Films in Mike`s car, either way, we decided to just leave them to it.

Next Car Please . . .


Mark started stroking his sub in a very creepy way, and said, why not come and try mine!

Vanessa Agreed !

Who Put That There?

For some strange reason Vanessa was reluctant to let us move the display stand that Mark had parked very close to.

And We Know Why!

It seemed that Vanessa quite enjoyed the Bass vibrations from Mark`s car, and he suggested that she may like to get inside.

Vanessa Agreed.

Sorry Mark

But Vanessa had changed her mind, as she just couldn`t get the thought of that pole out of her mind.

" Sorry Mark, I think it was the pole that was doing it for me, and not your car. "

Next ?

Vanessa stepped backwards and found the fuel cap on Karl`s car.

" Can we try this one please? "


Vanessa seemed to really enjoy the vibrations coming from this car.

Spike seemed to be enjoying it too !!

This may be the one!

Vanessa smiled that knowing smile. The Bass on Karl`s car may just do it for her, but she would really have to experience it from sitting inside.

And Then Maybe Not!

For some strange reason, Vanessa seemed very reluctant to get in the back of Karl`s car.

Don`t Worry

Now I have learnt that when things get a little tough, I can always rely on Ben to come up with a solution, but this one nearly beat him. I can`t get hold of Tim, he cried, his car would surely do it.

Ben then left suddenly, I didn`t worry as he can usually pull something out of the bag.

Where`s Tim ?

Ben returned a few moments later, to my amazement, with Tims Car.

But I thought Tim was on holiday in Spain? I said, to which Ben replied, that would explain why he is not answering his phone!

A Crowbar is Usefull

When Ben produced the Crowbar from Tims car, I knew not to ask. Ben had Stolen Tims Car, but was certain that we could put right the damage before Tim returned from Spain. He will never know!

Thanks Ben!

Vanessa liked Tims car, and immediately started wiggling, much to the annoyance of Adam who was trying to get a close up photo of her chest.

Not Sure ?

Its nice, Vanessa said, But I`m just not sure if it`s the right car ?

Not Sure ?

I`m just not sure if I could really have sex with this car she said.

I must admit, at this point most of us didn`t really care, just so long as she tried!

And Try She Did!

Sorry Guys, this just isn`t working, the Bass Vibrations are just not getting through to me.

Dave immediately saw the problem, and made the suggestion that if she were really trying to have sex with the car, then surely she shouldn`t be wearing a very thick skirt, as it was obviously de-sensitising the Bass.

Like This ?

We Certainly Do! . . Ahem . . Ooops . . . . Sorry . .
Yes, that`s exactly what I meant said Dave, attempting to sound professional.

Thats Better !

That did the Trick, said Vanessa, but Dave didn`t hear her as everybody was frantically shouting in his ear, asking if there were any other experiments worth trying that would have a similar effect.

But Vanessa had her own idea`s. This could well be the car, and she needed to get inside.

Adam . . . Help !

Much to Bens amusement, it appeared that as soon as the lovely Vanessa had climbed into Tim`s car, that she somehow became impaled on the Gearstick and couldn`t get off. She was stuck solid!

A Crowbar is Usefull #2!

Adam immediately came over to investigate this unfortunate event, but Ben, as usual had an answer, and simply reached over for the Crowbar. All was not lost.

Except maybe the gearknob!

Sorry Tim !

I like your car very much, but I`m afraid that the Gearknob is now lost forever.

Adam started to prepare a report to Seat stating just how easily their gearknobs can become detached.

I Have An Idea

It was then Kilmo, our fitter, who came up with an idea, to which he said, Easy! I reckon my Bassline is up to the job.

Everybody agreed that this was worth a try and went outside to look at his car.

I Like Your Car Already

It was clearly apparent that Vanessa had taken an instant shine to Kilmo`s car.

Adam looked on, most jealously, as although he clearly had the larger cup size, he was receiving no attention from the rest of us.

Sooo Excited !

Vanessa just couldn`t wait. Could this be the one ?

Turn The Bass Up !

She commanded Kilmo to turn up the Bass as far as it would go.

Is This The One ?

We had little doubt in our minds, but then it clearly wasn`t up to us.


Vanessa later apologised to Kilmo, as that roof aerial would clearly never receive another DAB signal again !

Whats that Noise ?

At that point Lee came over to see what all the screaming was all about.

It was Mike, he had finally run out of Porn in his Car.

This IS the One !

She screamed at the top of her voice, but we had already worked that out from the look in her eyes, she was definately getting exited.

A Clear Winner

From the performance put on by Vanessa, it was clear that Kilmo had the perfect car, and the others, grumpy as they were, would just have to accept it.

Except Ben

Ben can never be accused of lying down on the job, so used this opportunity to take some more photo`s. Spike was trying to negotiate a good rate for the negatives.

Oh Goody !

But Wait! Dave rightfully pointed out that Kilmo`s car could not be the winner, as Vanessa had not had sex inside it yet!

You could see the sheer dissapointment in her face as she realised that she would have to do it all over again.

Mmmmm !

You just would, wouldn`t you ?

And Dave Was !

Spike spent the next few minutes explaning to Dave that you should really use both hands to hold the camera, and probably best to leave the tripod alone !

Come Here Kilmo !

Kilmo could not believe his luck when Vanessa asked him to get into the car with her !

Smile !

Well, you`d be grinning from ear to ear as well wouldn`t you !

Although he was trying not to smile too much, as it would be a difficult enough job explaining his day at work to the missus when he got home, without the pictures on the website of his big cheshire grin!

Too Much !

But sadly it just proved to be too much for poor Kilmo who could do nothing more than collapse in a heap on his bassbox, but Oh, how that box would give him some memories!

As for the lovely Vanessa, she put her clothes on and stormed off, still in search of the perfect car.

The Fast Car Streetbass Challenge continues . . . . !

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